Dear Bunny

A long time ago far far away this Bunny in a very very dry place this Bunny looking for something, something hand-sized something dropped right around here Bunny stepping gently round and round reaches, takes your hand. Still looking, Bunny says, Help. You look down, around, step careful too still holding Bunny’s hand looking down all around pretending to look the dry dry sand, here and there tiny unlikely life, you don’t step on it here you are pretending to help, but that’s Love too. Warm salt broth you look up at Bunny, say, what color is it? Bunny, you are shocked to see so silent Bunny has tears, you say, I’ll help you. Bunny says, Color, that’s exactly what’s lost. You say blue, no, green, no, how big is it? Bunny holds up a big hand, your little hand warm held there in it Bunny says, this size, no color. You say: Bunny, is it made of glass?

Dear Bunny,

Once upon a time we look up, up, up, Bunny, our feet in the hot sand we look up surely there are upon our hoppity little lives stars above those clouds somewhere, Proof. Two children like you got two ears, Bunny, for real two children running running running from a vast tall Bear. This is the place. You see, yes, tall tall rock right here, rise up, bow down. Rise up. Once upon a time two children running from Bear. Bow down. Chased okay, one two one two these two very young in the desert brown limbs long long long black hair all sunny these two running Bear so tallish and dare not even look back towering with teeth oh teeth and claws big as the sky maybe, chasing these trembling babies lungs burning legs one stumble the other takes her hand, down they go. Right on the rocky tan sand down together I’m not kidding into child’s pose, get it? Please, please, Wakan Tanka oh so Bigger Than Us, save us, All That Is, these two children side by here in the sand two foreheads On. The. Ground. They say together Spirit Pleeeeeeease they can smell Bear’s claws almost already swatted down right into their backs long black claws all wedged and tangled in their ribs almost already bleeding big color all over this quiet dry earth, oh Bigger, help! Can you see it, Bunny, that way we get all on the ground, that one time you got all down, Bunny, glad and sorry both for every single thing you ever, Bear breathing hard musk right up your nostrils you had every feeling all at once right into the Earth these two children down like that Bear almost in their ribs, the Earth then sudden cracks a circle around them they rise up up up on the earth, Spirit takes them up beyond reach, there they are up tiny on giant stone cake. Just like me, Bunny yourself you were down down forehead on the dirt. That’s how it is when you can See. When you can see too much the crumble coming, the here comes, too late, yes? We got to bow deep deep down those two, Rogue One, remember at the end kneeling at the edge where water meets earth soon to be burned up quick but that’s how we do it, right? We do every last thing we can, we do giant breath in: climb the tower anyway leave our little paw prints where they might help any least child anyway find her way, next step anyway somehow. It all matters, we don’t know how. Rise up, Bunny. Raise up yr staff say yes, yes can you believe it those two children quaking their two sweaty hands gripped in the grit between them the Earth cracked yes she did in a big circle round those two up up grew a tower two children way up on top before the Bear’s very eyes up just in time the children stayed on their knees the whole time lifting up, who could believe the Noise, Bunny, who would have guessed in a thousand hundred years, thing is Imagination is just beyond. Beyond, see? Could have been a cloudship could have been the children poof, made into tiny spiders instead down in the sand, Bear can’t find them. Or pebbles. Till Bear gives up. Puzzled. That’s how it is with one idea. One crazy thing happens, one giant Earth tower, two tiny brown children on top and then you think, well, sure. Why not destroy the Death Star? Or die trying. That may well be what’s left to us, Bunny, how I love you. What might be left is die trying. What might be left is all we ever had in the first place. Look, Mom, look! Beauty right there for real, let yr eyes spill over in unlikely places, drag the rusty carcass, vines all over, out into the light for anybody who might be willing to look. That cloud the orange just so it’s exactly bunny-shaped see the ears there that bluish part where the whiskers would be? We are children way up high, saved again and again haven’t we, round and round the sun? Spirit lifts us up then sometimes, well every time, we’ve got to let go. Let go, change into stars. What if, what if oh no maybe sooner than we think no more television, no more goldfish crackers or honey bees and, oh so jesus I can’t look people shooting people over water over money over some kind of false. Maybe now hurricanes, right, Bunny, the Bear right behind us claws already tangled in our ribs see, so red, strange beauty the blood sinking into the dry dry earth under us. We didn’t mean it, then maybe, maybe not something happens something never in a thousand years could we have thought of this. I can see your eyes your big sad joy eyes, Bunny, how you know. How you keep making things, glitter patterns in the sand, you are warrior king baby big Magic. We go Down, Bunny, we feel the tiny stones digging into our knees, into our foreheads. Is this prayer? Or despair. I’ve got to look that up in the dictionary. Both. Anyway up with you finally, up rabbits, up girls, up crocodiles. Up we get sooner or, see: you can’t just stay breathing in that sand that tiny stone digging into your forehead forever. Up with your little tall ears even when your legs hurt so much, what the hell else are we gonna do? Up the tower climb climb up the tower impossible, your Dad didn’t he put a flaw in the system so, up you climb, get your little paws on your own name up there, so it is, right? We are seen unseen seen again and again, tidal wave right behind us nowhere to hide then right when the children can’t run anymore a sudden good round earthquake lifts us up up even if it kills us, high up above any monster clawing behind, there we are then, Tiny Stars higher than high, Bear scratching down the sides of our miracle we look down down down twinkling light years away that means, you know how some stars are blown up already dark already but we just gaze all quiet down here on moonless nights gazing up up at the tiny glimmer of how it was once still alive so then even time depends where you’re at, how fast you’re moving, Bunny. Who could even think of that? There we were remember, Bunny, there we were wood shavings all over our fur, so quiet, so busy trying to make the wagon wheels as round as we could working, too, so careful every edge of every stave just right don’t leak any precious drop then every year a better way to do things they say, every year some sexy sleek shining this or that until suddenly there’s, um, fracking. We glance at each other sideways we’re freaking out, isn’t we, there we go right back into child’s pose muttering compost, compost, text your Mom: how did she make that trellis out of nothing, remember? We’re laid out flat, belly down whispering now, yup, dirt on our lips: we don’t need what we thought we needed, muttering, I will give up ziplock baggies I will give up GPS for the poor souls in purgatory please Wakan Tanka raise us up, I promise up up I’ll find every least ribbon of racism in my house maybe even Amazon Prime how did I get here the key to my daily happiness some South American tea my forehead on the hard ground right here with you, Bunny, antioxidants guaranteed two-day delivery so many brown beans of various stimulating kinds, Bunny, press one shining golden button in your pocket 72 percent or 85, whatever you want dark roast here comes help already from the tropics pineapple year round coconut water way far north turns out, can you believe this, Bunny: slaves. Children. Child slaves pick the chocolate beans for us, not kidding, I had to go all the way to Atlanta to find that out, all the way there and back again, way way high up in the air I lost track of all the little plastic cups they gave me smiling, saying no we’re not allowed to refill, you have to have a new cup every time. Here we are now, Bunny, all we want now is Princess Leia all draped in white, we want her so bad to turn around, look right in our eyes, say Hope. We really can’t see from here, so few tiny muck-booted cob-building beekeepers this tiny green good island, Bunny, still cargo ships, cargo ships, so much afraid. How can we anything but out, out quick in a great flash of white light side by side, but then there you are, Bunny, there you are where the water meets the sand: knife in one hand, melon in the other.

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